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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:09 pm 
Chocolate Bacon Drizzle
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Has your state legalized marijuana where you live?

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:44 pm 
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Miss Friendship wrote:
Has your state legalized marijuana where you live?

Only medical marijuana, but I hope it will be completely legalized eventually. Though my company doesn't allow employees to use marijuana, even for medical reasons, so I wouldn't try it even if I wanted to.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 5:13 pm 
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What Disney character do you think you're most like?

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:04 am 
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Rosie Willowwater wrote:
What Disney character do you think you're most like?

According to this quiz, I'm Donald Duck.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:40 am 
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Since you've been on the SS for so long, and you like to debate, has there been anything you've said in debates that you no longer agree with? It's hard to imagine your views not changing at all over so many years.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:07 am 
Coffee Biscotti
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shnoodlec. wrote:
Since you've been on the SS for so long, and you like to debate, has there been anything you've said in debates that you no longer agree with? It's hard to imagine your views not changing at all over so many years.

Yes. Vehemently. :P For the most part I've become considerably more liberal since I first started debating, but there are even things I've said more recently that I would back away from now.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:55 am 
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good.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 1:29 am 
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Connie G. wrote:
good.

I haven't changed that many of my recent opinions, so don't get too excited. :P

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:59 pm 
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What do you think of G.K. Chesterton's hair?

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 10:08 pm 
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GJFH wrote:
What do you think of G.K. Chesterton's hair?

It’s too unkempt. :noway:


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Ask me anything! I am ignorant about most subjects, but I am slightly less ignorant than most on LGBT topics, especially history. For religious questions I will probably just suggest a source relevant to your religious tradition while I s̶c̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶v̶o̶i̶d̶ sort out my own beliefs.

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 1:44 am 
Peanut Butter Cup
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Tea Ess wrote:
GJFH wrote:
What do you think of G.K. Chesterton's hair?

It’s too unkempt. :noway:

I'll tell 'im the next time I see him.

What do you wish people would first do or ask when they find out you identify as LGBT?

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 Post subject: Re: Ask Tea Ess things
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 2:18 am 
Coffee Biscotti
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GJFH wrote:
I'll tell 'im the next time I see him.

Thanks, I appreciate it. :P

GJFH wrote:
What do you wish people would first do or ask when they find out you identify as LGBT?

This is a great question! A lot of people aren’t sure how to respond when someone comes out to them. I’m assuming for the sake of the question that this is my family or friends. This ended up being way longer than I planned, but hopefully it helps.

When it comes to forming a good response, there’s really no one perfect answer to everything- it just depends on your relationship with the person and what the specific situation is. That’s why I’m going to avoid giving an exact word-for-word answer to your question.

To give a bit of context, LGBT+ people, usually youth, have to practice a great deal of self censorship if they don’t want others to know they aren’t cisgender/heterosexual. For some people I know, this is a matter of protecting their physical safety. For myself, I just had zero assurance of how my parents would react, and feared a very negative response, so I stayed deeply in the closet. Hiding a major part of yourself from friends and family wears on you, and that gets worse as time goes on. You also tend to become hyper-aware of conversations that involve LGBT related issues, and yet fear responding or others noticing how you react.

So, when a person comes out, it’s less of one single event and more of an expression of their desire for that self censorship to stop. What you can infer from this is that 1) they trust you and 2) this is basically an invitation to participate more fully in their life. Your response to that invitation will obviously depend a lot on what your relationship was already like, and it will contribute a lot to how comfortable they are with sharing the LGBT+ parts of their life with you in the future.

A response to someone coming out might acknowledge or thank them for their trust if you feel like it’s appropriate, especially if you’re the first one they’ve told. It’s also a good idea to reaffirm your relationship with them (I love you, I’m glad you’re my friend, ect). You can ask an open-ended question to show your interest or curiosity, and this also helps leave the door open for future conversations. It’s important to find out if they’re okay with other people knowing they’re gay, bi, ect, and if not it’s imperative you respect that.

As far as things to avoid, speaking from personal experience, um, don’t ask them if they were molested as a child. It’s really not a great way to kick off the conversation. Also a good idea to not make assumptions or ask super intrusive questions that you wouldn’t have before they came out.

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