Helios: Welcome.......to the Unknown

A place to discuss your own works. Whether they may be literary, visual art, or music pieces, this is the place to show off your stuff!
Post Reply
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Helios: Welcome.......to the Unknown

Post

Greetings and welcome, fellow Soda Shoppers. As some of you are aware of (and some of you are most annoyingly aware of), I am Helios, otherwise known as Sir (though I am a girl).

As a very few of you know, I like to write.

Let me rephrase that.

I must write or I will die.

Or close enough to it.

And since I must write, it's only logical to assume that other people might like to read it.

Agree?

Good, because that is why you are here.

You may now be wondering why I have called this the Unknown.

Good question.

The answer?

Because you will never quite know what I'll be posting on here.

And because I'll never quite be sure what I'll be posting on here.

But welcome. :D

Welcome to my world.

*creepy music sounds softly in the background as the lights fade to black*

P.S. To my WE friends (who will remain unnamed, but you guys know who you are), apologies that I won't be posting some of the you-know-what immediately. I just had this great little thing I wanted to share the instant of inception. Thank you for calmly accepting this inconvenience. :P KTS :P

P.P.S. It has someone you know I like very much in it! :P

-- Sat Dec 14, 2013 11:18 pm --

Here's the first I'll share of my works. Critique it all you like...I love it. :D And tell me if you find any typos. I am displeased with typos. ;)

Smoke rises into the air, curling and billowing like vine tendrils. A layer of ash coats the ground, swirling whenever someone walks through it. Flames leap out from buildings on either side, grabbing for anyone close enough to fall victim to the scarlet fire. Rockets are whistling through the air, landing with explosive thuds on the nearest target. A low hum of gunfire fills out the black noise on the spectrum.
From the high palace balcony where I stand, the screams of terrified citizens fall like hail on my ears. I can't stand to hear it, but I can't tear myself away from it either. It's like I'm being held, spell-bound, to watch the destruction of the vast city spreading out in front of me.
My city.
My home.
My hands grip the railing tighter as a platoon of soldiers races around the corner of the palace and out into the street. They're the last of the palace guard; I now stand defenseless before the enemy save for my staff, which is laying on the ground behind me.
Where is my husband? I wonder. Where are the warrior brothers? Where is my personal guard? Have they died in the fighting? Why am I standing here alone?
I squeeze my eyes shut, unwilling to witness any more destruction. But I can't block out the sound of the screams and gunfire. And neither does the image fade from before my eyes. I can still see it, clear as day.
Shouts sound behind me. My eyes fly open and I whirl around to see my personal guard panting in the doorway.
“My lady, you must run now while you can,” she gasps out. A streak of soot tarnishes her forehead, showing through a veil of honey-blond hair. Black ash stains her hands and her white robe. Her staff is smoldering, a sign that she has been fighting the enemy soldiers down in the streets.
And winning, of course.
“I can't leave now,” I tell her. “I'm stilling waiting for my husband.” Even though my heart is beating like a drum within my chest and my hands are shaking with tension, I feel calm and composed on the outside. Only my voice reveals the inner turmoil surging beneath my skin.
“He's occupied right at the moment.” She picks up my staff and shoves it into my hand. “And if we don't go now, we won't be going anywhere except into our graves. Hurry!” She pulls me out the door and down a flight of stairs. I feel like I'm in a dream as I follow her. My feet don't even touch the floor.
Suddenly we're in the street, and the screaming and burning and shooting are close around us. My chest collapses from all the smoke and I feel myself gasping for air as my guard drags me along.
Come on, you can run yourself, I berate myself. Stop slowing her down!
But it's like I can't even move my own feet, much less make myself run. My mind is intensely concentrated on the situation around us, but my brain and its commands are floating away like smoke.
We round a corner and break out of the burning heat. We're in the forest now, a good twenty miles outside city limits. How did we get here so fast? I couldn't have run twenty miles in the best of conditions, and certainly not when I'm suffering from a case of smoke inhalation.
My guard lays me down on the ground where the smoke is very thin.
“Just breath,” she murmurs. “I need to locate the others.” She pulls a radio from her belt and starts talking into it, but I tune her out. My eyes are closed again, yet even so, I can see the city burning. I feel the heat inside, even though my skin is cool. It's as if my mind is inside another body, somewhere within the city.
“Wake up! We're surrounded!” my guard suddenly shrieks in my ear. I jerk up, my fingers automatically closing around my staff. We seem to have changed location again, though I don't understand how. A solid ring of enemy soldiers surround us, their colors the familiar yet hated red-and-black.
“You cannot escape, Queen,” one of them addresses me. “Your city is in ashes, your soldiers are dead, your husband, the King, has met his end. You've lost. Your God has lost. Surrender now while you still have a chance!”
A sob of grief gathers in my throat, but I swallow it back and shake my head vehemently. “Never!” I spit out. “You will have to kill me as well!”
With battle screams ringing in our throats, my guard and I charge our outnumbering foes. We don't stand a chance and we know it. But nothing will ever make us surrender to them.
Not this time, I vow, my teeth clenched.
We fly into the pack of them like a wolf into sheep. Our staffs smoke and spit fire, incinerating our enemies. Black smoke, putrid and thick, fills the air. It's the smell of victory and triumph, not of death and despair. Yet I know that we will not escape. We, too, will meet our end, just as my husband has.
My staff is suddenly yanked out of my hands. In the darkness, I can't see where it is or who has it. But I do feel the choking arm that encircles my neck, cutting off my breathing.
“No!” I hear my guard scream, but already my vision is fading to black. I struggle uselessly, feeling the arm squeeze tighter and tighter, feeling the life ebbing out of me, feeling time spiral out of my mind...


No!
I jerk up, the word formed soundlessly on my lips.
Pale moonlight shines down on me from the skylight in the ceiling. Soft sheets cover my body and my head rests on a fluffy pillow.
It was just a dream.
I take a deep breath, feeling the terror surging through my veins. Even if it was a dream, I can still feel the fear, the desperation, the hopelessness that gripped me. It's like fire, burning into my very soul.
My husband's peaceful breathing fills the silent night. Looking over at his sleeping form, thankfulness floods over me. He's still alive, and it was truly, only, a dream. I reach out and touch him, just to feel him, and once again relief fills my mind.
Slipping out from under the sheets, I pad over to the large glass doors that open onto a balcony. Unlike the balcony in my dream, this one looks out over a garden instead of the city. More moonlight cascades over me as I step out into the night air. Coolness washes through me, taking away some of the terror of my dream. I take a deep breath and lean my hands on the railing.
Like a thunderbolt it flashes through me again: the screaming, the burning, the shooting, the smoke smoldering in my lungs.
I gasp and catch my breath. My heart pounds vigorously underneath my skin. I can feel the skin throbbing without touching it.
That wasn't just a dream, I slowly realize. An ordinary dream wouldn't scare me like that. It must have been...
Another vision?
Unspoken thoughts claw at my mind. Ever since the visions began years ago, I always fear and dread them—yet long for them. They are something that I don't ask for and wish I wouldn't get. But I do, because I am the chosen one.
The foresighted one. What people in this world call an Eagle Eye.
However, I don't always know right away when something is a just a dream and when something is more. Sometimes it isn't until the event I saw really begins to happen that I realize it.
But now I have no doubt. What I saw will come to pass.
My only question is, When?
I hear a sound behind me and turn quickly. My husband is sitting on the edge of our bed, watching me. I thought he was deeply asleep. I guess not.
His eyes are tired and there are dark rings under them. He hasn't sleep well in days. Being the young King of a vast realm can have that effect, I've heard. And I, as his Queen, have my stressful days as well. But I do hate to wake him up when all I've had is a bad dream.
That's not true, I remind myself. It was more than just a dream.
He doesn't say anything at first. He doesn't need to. He can always tell when I've seen something. He knows.
But he asks anyway, just because he knows that I need to talk about it.
“What did you see this time?”
I lean against the railing, feeling a chill wind blow through my nightgown. “The capitol burned,” I begin quietly. “They had invaded again. Only this time the whole place was going up in smoke. I ran, but they surrounded me. They told me you had died, that our faith was useless. I fought back. Someone strangled me. Then I woke up.”
He stands and joins me on the balcony. In the moonlight, he looks even taller than his actual height of six feet and four inches. Even though I measure at five foot seven, he's still a head taller than me. I look up into his eyes that glow green and brown at the same time. The green means he's agitated because I'm agitated; the brown means he's empathetic toward my fear.
“Did you dream as well?” I ask, almost afraid of the answer.
“No, not this time.” He looks around, then asks, “Did you stand on a balcony like this one?”
“Yes. But it was the one in the front wing, overlooking the gates.”
“An attack from the east,” he murmurs. “What time of day was it?”
“I—I don't know. It was dark. The sky was red.”
“Did you notice anything unusual about the sun?”
I think hard for a moment, then reply, “Yes. It was a different color.”
He tense. “What color?”
“It was green. An emerald green.”
He sighs, a deep, heavy sigh. “The fourth moon rises. The fourth turn of the wheel spelling the demise of our realm. Of our planet.”
“Of our home,” I whisper. “You saw the third moon rise, didn't you? The purple one?”
“In my father's time,” he says slowly, sadly. “It foretold his death.”
“Do you think this one foretells yours?” I ask quickly.
He considers it for a moment, then shakes his head. “Not necessarily. Perhaps...” he looks sadly at me “...perhaps that of the son you carry.”
I move my hands protectively over my womb, cradling the child growing there. “It is not his fate I saw,” I murmur. “For him the sun will shine blue. You know the prophecies. No, green is for someone else.”
“Not me?” he asks. There is a slight twinkle in his eye that takes some of the solemnity from our conversation.
I smile and move into his embrace. “Not you. Not me. Not anyone we know. It is for another I don't know.”
“You are certain?” he asks, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“Yes, certain,” I reply without hesitation. “I know these things, remember? I am foresighted.”
“Like I could forget.” He's silent a moment, playing with my hair. Then he says, “The fourth moon means that the end is near for us.”
“Yes,” I agree. “But you know that not all planets have five moons. Some have two or three, or even seven. The lifespan of each planet and its inhabitants is different.”
“Yet their end is the same,” he reminds me.
“All the same,” I echo. Then I snuggle deeper into his arms. “But our end is still coming. It's just a long way off.”
“Which means?” he asks quizzically.
“We need to go back to bed.” I poke him in the ribs. “Besides, I don't like the way you look with those rings under your eyes.”
“I didn't know you married me because of my looks,” he says in a mock offended tone.
“Of course I did,” I tease. “What else was there to marry you for? Certainly not your intellect—or your lack of it.”
He laughs and for a moment his eyes glow completely brown. Then they shift color again into a muted gray. I know that look all too well. It means he's worried about me.
“I'm all right, really,” I tell him.
“You look so pale.” He brushes strands of black hair away from my face. “You look pale so often lately.”
I sigh. “I know. But this will soon pass. As all things must.”
“Yes,” he murmurs in agreement. “All things must pass.”
Image
User avatar
GratiaDei
Cookies & Creme
Posts: 451
Joined: February 2013
Location: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Post

I like it! You are a talented writer. Keep it up (I know you will) and I look forward to hearing more.

P. S. No typos that I can see, and I also dislike them. :D
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Thanks! I'll be sure to post more in a few days. :D
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

“What are you up to, Bren?” a girl's voice laughed from beyond the shade of the fir trees. “Are you hiding from me again?”
Bren, a short, slender youth in a brown tunic, jumped up from where he had been reclining on the ground. He brushed pine needles from his cropped blond hair, then frowned at the girl now pushing her way through the boughs.
“I wasn't hiding,” Bren said. “I was just—resting.”
“Resting?” The girl, Eleanor, smiled teasingly. “You're blushing. You're surprised I found you here. Thought you could hide away, eh?”
“I wasn't hiding,” Bren insisted. “Really, I wasn't.”
Eleanor looked questioningly at him, one dark eyebrow raised. Her blue eyes were sparkling with suppressed merriment.
“Did I miss something up at the palace?” Bren asked hurriedly, before she could tease him further. “Does the Queen want me to run another message for her?”
“No, no, it's not that.” Eleanor's face turned grave, an unusual expression for her. “It's just...the banquet celebrating the return of Prince Arindell is tonight, and for some reason I feel anxious.”
“Why?”
“I don't know.” She wrapped her arms around her green velvet gown in a worried gesture. “I guess...it's been so long since we've seen him. Who knows how much he's changed?”
“Not much,” Bren assured her. “We've known the prince since before we could walk. He's our friend. Even if we are only orphans,” he added somewhat sadly.
“The Queen and King have been very gracious to us,” Eleanor reminded him. “And I don't mind being an orphan if we can serve in the palace. But still...I'm worried, Bren. What if something goes wrong?”
“How can anything go wrong?” her brother asked. “The full royal guard is stationed here to welcome him. The Royals are confident that his return will bring more political stability to the kingdom. Everyone adores him. What could go wrong?”
Eleanor lifted her palms in a helpless gesture. “I'm not sure. I trust the Queen's opinion very highly. Everyone does. But I wonder sometimes...is she hiding something from us?”
“Everyone has secrets,” Bren pointed out. “Why should a Queen be any different?”
Eleanor was silent a moment, smoothing her palms up and down her gown. The strong, vibrant scent of the fir-wood surrounded them, closing them in as if they were in an enclosed chamber. The trees rustled slightly in a passing wind. A bird chirped from overhead.
Finally, Eleanor sighed. “I didn't want to tell you this, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe, I have something unusual.”
“Unusual?”
“Something...magical.” Her voice was a mere whisper on the last word. Bren started with horror.
“Impossible, Eleanor,” he said quickly. “Magic doesn't run in our blood. You know that. Only the court physicians and the tellers have it.”
“No, not that kind of magic,” she said slowly. “A different kind.”
“What other kind is there?”
“I don't know. But I feel...different. For the past few weeks I've been feeling different. And I think the Queen can sense it, but she doesn't say anything.”
Bren stared at his sister. Feelings of fear, horror, and awe worked for dominance within him. His face was flushing red and white. Beads of sweat trickled down his neck, though it was a cool, cloudy day.
“I think you should get some rest,” he said in an odd, strangely cautions voice. “You look pale, Eleanor. And you're on attendance tonight at the banquet.”
“I feel fine, Bren. But if you insist, I'll go.” She gave him a quick smile, then turned and began the long walk up the garden path to the palace. Behind her, Bren watched her departure with a troubled face.
When she was out of earshot, he flung himself back down on the pine needles he'd been using as a pillow. His face was lifted to the sky, where clouds danced lazily across a wide blue expanse.
“It can't be true,” he murmured to himself. “Please don't let it be true. Not again.”


****************************************************************************************

From her mountain hall of cold, silent stone, Mermoth watched the boy with a smile playing across her red lips.
“It is so entertaining to watch these mortals fight the hands of fate,” she mused. “They think they are stronger than our kind. But it only shows how truly weak they are.”
She continued gazing into the quivering crystal of diamond where Bren's form was visible. He seemed to be asleep again, but his lips were moving. Mermoth could hear no words, but she need not hear them to know what he said.
“So long ago we played this game,” she said, half to herself, half to the emptiness surrounding her. “So long ago, and yet so close to my memory. And I won, didn't I? I run, young Bren. And soon I will come to take my reward.”
She rose from her seat and the crystal shimmered into thin air. With her long emerald robes sweeping around her, Mermoth strode out of the room.
The silence echoed behind her.
Last edited by Helios on Mon Dec 30, 2013 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
Ameraka
Fudge Marble
Posts: 853
Joined: March 2013
Location: In the Village

Post

Ooh, I like this! The description is vivid, I can sympathize with the characters, and there's a sense of foreboding that's building throughout...I do like fantasy, and I'mlooking forward to reading the next part!
Avatar by girlster93 (tumblr)

My book, Justice Lost, is on Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JM1XFCI
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

That may be some time, Ameraka. Though I am looking forward to writing more of it... :D
Image
Pound Foolish
Coffee Biscotti
Posts: 3347
Joined: June 2012
Location: Kidsboro
Contact:

Post

I read your story opening sometimes ago, sir, and I'm terribly impressed. It's perhaps the best fiction I've read on here. Your descriptions are frank yet colorful. You say a lot with a little. "...smoldering in my lungs.: Wow. You definitely know what what's-her-name is feeling. (That is one little problem in the opening, incidentally. If anyone spoke her name, it wasn't very often, it's slipped my mind. Did we find out her husband's name either?) The emotion is genuine, you can feel it. These people have such real relationships. I did spot a few typos myself, but I'm afraid I read this awhile ago without posting and I've forgotten them, so my apologies for that, just know there are some left.
I must add, I'm absolutely delighted to hear that you like to write, that you must write or die. I knew I liked you. We shall and are getting along splendidly. I hope you keep visiting.
Anyhow, beautiful job, and thank you for sharing, sir.
PS, you still owe me in you-know-where.
“I absolutely demand of you and everyone I know that they be widely read in every [censored] field there is: in every religion and every art form and don’t tell me you haven’t got time! There’s plenty of time.”~ Ray Bradbury
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Ah, there you are, Poundy, ma'am. I knew you'd show up sooner or later. :D I am much pleased that you appreciate my work. ;) I read some your stuff and it was pretty good, so if I've impressed you, that goes a long way on here. ;) Right....? :P

And the reason you don't know her name is....because I didn't put any names in. It's a writing technique I'm trying out on here. But if it bugs too many people, I'll stop. :P ;) Your words of praise are like music to my ears. Second thought, they ARE music. :D

Thanks for the warning about typos. I'll have to look into it...lol... ;)

Yes, yes, I'm sure, Poundy, ma'am, that we will continue to get along very nicely. :D Who knows, maybe you'll read yourself on these pages one day... ;)

PS, I paid you on you-know-where....ma'am. Getting senile in one's old age, eh? :P
Image
Pound Foolish
Coffee Biscotti
Posts: 3347
Joined: June 2012
Location: Kidsboro
Contact:

Post

I'm very pleased. And yes, my opinion does count for a lot around here. It carries some weight... like a whole pound! Get it!? My name is- never mind. Though as far as writing, Ameraca's approval means a lot more than mine. She's the Queen of AIO Fan Fic.
Oh, I understand now. Hrm. May I ask why you skip the names? What purpose does it serve?
I imagine we shall.
You do so owe me. I challenged your reply with that example of prayer to demonstrate how our dependence of God has nothing to do with the chronological dictations of time, and you haven't repsonded as of yet. Granted, I told you to take your time, but you already have taken a fair amount of time so take a hint and take a letter would you please? (I added "before you have to take medication" but that's a bit strong don't you think?)
“I absolutely demand of you and everyone I know that they be widely read in every [censored] field there is: in every religion and every art form and don’t tell me you haven’t got time! There’s plenty of time.”~ Ray Bradbury
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Lol, weight? Might I suggest you hit the gym, Mister Pound? :P

Queen? I should check out her forum then...she does have one, right?

Okay, the name-skipping thing. It's supposed to bring a sense of...mystery and suspense. And also, it lets the reader imagine what the person's name might be, based on their personality and/or physical appearance. I'm always so annoyed when I read a book and the character doesn't look the way I think they should. So I thought I'd try a little experiment. :D

Half a sec....I thought I did respond! Oh, horror, this is all because you and Eleventh kept arguing about something else and filling the page up so I couldn't find your post! LOL, and I've been out during the holidays, so I kinda missed the excitement on here. :P :P

Lemme go and remedy the situation in a few moments...er...days...whatever... ;)

Oh, how'd you know I was on meds? How perceptive you are, Poundy ma'am! And you didn't call me sir once...am SO offended... ;)
Image
User avatar
Liz'alike
Cookie Dough
Posts: 1862
Joined: September 2012
Location: NC, USA

Post

*claps hands with much approval* Well done, Helios! Very well written and very captivating! I really found the writing style interesting... It was a bit distracting at first, then I fell into its entrancing rhythm and got lost!
I only noticed one typo in the second part:
“Why should a Queen by any different?”
Btw, might I offer you a pin, PF?? You seem a bit bloated! Hehe
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Thanks, Liz! I should definitely correct that. :D

Oh, hear, have a whole bag of needles for ol' rolly Poundy. :D
Image
User avatar
Liz'alike
Cookie Dough
Posts: 1862
Joined: September 2012
Location: NC, USA

Post

He might even need a little help being popped! ;) *pokes PF with needle*

When might we be seeing another installment?? I really am enjoying your story!
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

My, look at the hot air whizzing out of him! Whoopee! :D

I'm not exactly sure about another installment...I meant these as teasers of a sort, just to show what I could do. I will,however, be starting a story that will have bi-weekly installments. I'll post the first of that one later today. :D
Image
User avatar
Ameraka
Fudge Marble
Posts: 853
Joined: March 2013
Location: In the Village

Post

Pound Foolish wrote:I'm very pleased. And yes, my opinion does count for a lot around here. It carries some weight... like a whole pound! Get it!? My name is- never mind. Though as far as writing, Ameraca's approval means a lot more than mine. She's the Queen of AIO Fan Fic.
awww! Thanks! :D that's sweet.

Helios, my forum is on here, although it's only one story that I'm still in the middle of. My finished stories are in the links in my signature. :)

Really looking forward to the story with the bi-weekly installments!!!!
Avatar by girlster93 (tumblr)

My book, Justice Lost, is on Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JM1XFCI
User avatar
Liz'alike
Cookie Dough
Posts: 1862
Joined: September 2012
Location: NC, USA

Post

Definitely teasing me! ;) i am also looking forward to bi-weekly installments!
Image
yelsew
Fudge Marble
Posts: 940
Joined: December 2012
Location: Some "Grand" state. near "Arizona's Christmas City".

Post

Hey! I've finally posted on your page Fea... Umm I mean Helios. ;) great writing! (As always) :P ohh... A story huh? Could it perhaps be the one with Tannith? Can't wait. Well I'll be waiting. (And have been for awhile... Haha JK) ;)
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Yo, Ameraka, I took a peek at your forum. YOU WRITE WUNDERBAR!!! Your style is good and clear. I could easily follow what was happening, yet there was also a sense of mystery. Superbly done. :D

Lol, I am the Queen of teasing... ;)

YELSEW!!! You rat in snake's clothing! Lol...KTS Thank you for your words of praise.

Perhaps..it is the one with Tannith...or perhaps not. I'll probably post both at once. Yes, I know you've been waiting. My apologies, snake-man. :D I will try to remedy the situation before 2014. :P
Image
yelsew
Fudge Marble
Posts: 940
Joined: December 2012
Location: Some "Grand" state. near "Arizona's Christmas City".

Post

;D heh, ok I'll look forward to it. ;) (it will take a while to get to where I am though.) :D HAPPY NEW YEAR! Btw
Image
Helios
Butter Pecan
Posts: 2938
Joined: November 2013
Location: Stealing your place in the sun

Post

Happy New Year's to you, too!
BTW, is that your snake in your avi? :)
Image
Post Reply