I don't think I'll ever forget Eugene and I's first fishing trip at Trickle Lake. The morning Eugene asked me to go fishing with him was one of the best mornings of my life. I was ecstatic. I just couldn’t believe that Eugene wanted to go fishing with me! We went up to the lake at about 10:00 A.M. It was a beautiful day. On the way there I held back my excitement as I tried to explain as much as I could about the right kind of bait to use and how to find the place in the water with the most fish, "So when fishing for a bass, I've found it's best to use crankbait." Eugene nodded intently, keeping his eye on the road. "They don't usually have them at dock fishing shops so I brought a couple of my own."
Eugene seemed surprised, "Really? How many lures do you have?"
"Just a few. I used to have more but I couldn't take all of them with me when-" It hurt too much to finish the sentence. I didn't want to think about the juvenile detention center.
Eugene sighed, he understood, “Buck, I’m sorry, I know it’s hard.”
"It's ok." I looked down at my small plastic box of lures and swallowed hard, trying not to think about the other things I had to leave behind. "How many did you have before?" Eugene cautiously asked. I sighed, forcing myself to remember my last year with Mr. Skint, "For my thirteenth birthday, Mr. Skint bought me a big fishing set. It had tons of organized containers with every lure and hook you could want. It was just too big to take with me. I had this set before then."
"I see. How often did you and Mr. Skint go fishing?"
"As often as we could. Sometimes we would go out on the lake and just sit there, fishing and talking for hours." There was a drawn out pause as I remembered the long, peaceful days on the water. Eugene finally spoke up, "You miss him, don't you?"
"Sometimes. But I wish I didn't. I mean, why should I?"
"Why shouldn't you miss him?"
"Because- because he left me." I said almost angrily. I paused when I realized where the anger came from, "Miss Katrina said he didn't love me." I glanced up at Eugene, "Why should I miss someone who didn't even love me?"
"He was a father to you." I looked back down at the box; I couldn't bare the look he gave me, "You have every right to miss him."
"I just wish I didn't,” I said quietly.
We drove a little longer, and then Eugene stopped the car. I looked up and realized we were there. All of the sudden a little smirk he had obviously been holding back spread across Eugene's face. "What is it?" I asked, intrigued by his expression. "Oh, call it a surprise."
"Ok," I said, getting excited.
"Now, don't get out of the car quite yet." I unbuckled and watched as Eugene went around to the back of the car. He got something out of the trunk. I couldn't see what it was though until he said it was all right to come out. I opened the door, got out, then stopped. There in front of me stood Eugene with the same excited grin, holding two dark blue fishing poles; clearly expensive. Awestruck I took one, "Are these- ours?" Eugene nodded. Still bewildered I examined it, running my fingers down the beautifully engineered metal. "But how?" I asked, "This fishing pole is better than any I've ever had."
"So?"
"So it must have cost a lot of money."
"That doesn't matter."
“Yes it does,” I looked at the fishing pole. I couldn’t accept it, “You should take it back. You've already given me so much and I don’t deserve it.”
“Whether you deserve or not is irrelevant. It’s a free gift.”
"Ok but-" I paused and realized where the conversation was headed, "Uh oh, I know that look. There’s a lesson behind this isn’t there?”
Eugene laughed, "Is it that obvious?"
"Probably not to everyone. So what is it?"
"You said that you don't deserve a fishing pole; correct?" I nodded. "Why did you say that?" I didn't want to tell him the real reason, but I tried anyway. The words came out slowly, "Because I've done too many bad things- I, I just haven't earned it."
"But I'm giving it to you anyway."
"Right."
"Well, that's what Jesus did for you." I still didn't get it. "He gave me a fishing pole?" I asked though I was pretty sure that's not where he was going with it. "No," he laughed, "See when Jesus died on the cross, he took the punishment for your sin."
"Death?" The concept was almost chilling.
"That's right, death. But since Jesus died for you, if you ask him to come into your heart, you won't have to fear death because you'll live with him forever."
"But why would he die for me? That's something I never understood."
"He died for you because he loves you and he created you with a purpose and plan in mind. God doesn't want you to die so he sent his only son, Jesus to die for you."
I stopped to consider what I had just heard. Jesus loved me? I wasn't even sure I believed it. "But, even after everything I've done?"
"Yes. And Buck, I want you to know that no matter what you have done or will ever do, Katrina and I will always love you and be here for you."
For the first time in a while there wasn't a stinging pain in my heart and I actually smiled, "Thanks Mr. Eugene." See, to hear Eugene say that, while it might not have seemed like a big deal to him, it meant the world to me. We went fishing for four hours that day. Eugene never quite got the hang of putting the bait on the hooks and every once and a while he would tell me some random fact about water or fish or the temperature of the air or something. I guess his inessential amount of knowledge helped in the long run though, cause he caught more fish than I did! As we packed up our things I summoned the courage to ask a question that had been nagging at me, "Mr. Eugene?"
"Yes, Buck?"
"Earlier you said that God has a purpose in mind for me."
"Yes."
"Well, what IS my purpose?" Eugene looked down at me, sighed and said, "I don't know Buck, but if you ask God, I'm sure he'll tell you." I paused then asked, "Would- would you help me do that?"
Eugene smiled, "Sure Buck."