My Songwriting Efforts

[ArnoldtheRubberDucky]

I would like to clarify something: I am not coming back now. This is simply a post I really wanted to make, and I don't see any reason to wait six months to make it when I can do it now.

As some of you might know, I am a novice songwriter. I wrote about ten parts of songs in the last few days, and I thought I'd share the some that I feel are the most complete. The first one is not completely finished, (I still need to write the 3rd and 4th verses) but it's close enough. I'll let you interpret all of them your own way, because that's part of the fun of reading a song. Here it is:

Greater Than Rome Lyrics

I see darkness
I see light
I see courage
I see fright

I see might
Doesn't make right
I see blindness
I see sight

Earth is a vacation
And then you come home
Only fools and nomads
Stay here to roam

There is a destination
We're all going home
The city of the future
Will be greater than Rome

Oh it'll be greater than Rome
Greater than Rome
Greater than Rome

Please don't feel the need to hold back critique. I mean, if you flat out think one of these is the worst song ever written, go ahead and tell me. (In a kind way, of course. )

[Arkán Dreamwalker]

Is that reference to Rome insulting Catholics or the other way around?

[Wretched Sinner]

This is really good, CT, al;so, it's good to have you back.

[Pound Foolish]

That's possibly the best song I've seen done on here, so far. Thank you for sharing that, Mr. Thinker. I'm no music critic, so I'll just honestly say it amazed me. I could just hear the meter and poetry of it in my mind. And again, I support you in your quest to virtually entirely stay away. I know that's real hard. Keep at it, ol' pal. Sure, we'd all love you back, but as you know this is best. Stick with it.

[ArnoldtheRubberDucky]

Why thank you, PF. Arkan, I was thinking of neither the Catholics insulting the Romans, nor the other way around. Rome is often considered the greatest city ever, and so it was a comparison between Rome and the "city of the future".

Anyway, here's another song that I feel is conceivably the most complete song I've ever written. Think of it as a Mumford & Sons/Bob Dylan style of song that combines elements of folk and soul music. I would like to change the lyrics eventually, particularly in the first couple verses, so that they can convey a more forgiving message as opposed to mild bitterness. If you have any suggestions on how I should do that, by all means share them. But here is the first draft:

You'll Wonder Why Lyrics

That's right
Go pack up your things and run
Cause I can't forgive you
For the things you've done

I tried
To show you mercy and grace
But you ran right back
And threw it back in my face

You didn't follow the rules
But I'll spare you now
You tried to play it cool
But you didn't know how

You'll wonder why
I said goodbye

My heart
Has been through much triumph and toil
But my clean white shirt
Was the shirt you soiled

I've forgiven
You a thousand times
But you never ever
Gave me one of your dimes

I'm not perfect either
So I understand
But I hope you learn
To take His command

You'll wonder why
I said goodbye