HISHE: Odyssey Style
Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:49 pm
by Kungfunaomi
Hey, guys, so I listened to the Green Ring Conspiracy, and I thought it would be funny to do a couple How it Should Have Ended segments for it. You can read them below! It'd be fun if you guys came up with some, too!
THE GREEN RING CONSPIRACY, PART 12:
Jason’s not-so-epic moment
Connie: Seriously, don’t I know you?
Jason: Did I hear you say there’s a way out of this car?
Wooton: Sure is, there’s a panel right behind your crate, you’ve just gotta undo those bolts.
Jason: Thanks.
Wooton: You’re welcome.
Jason: (Begins to undo the bolts, grunting as he unscrews them). Oh yeah, Connie?
Connie: Huh?
Jason: Tell Mr. Whittaker the plates can be found at TLC.
Connie: The what at the what?
Jason: (Kicks panel open). Maybe he’ll figure it out. (Climbs through the panel). Oh, and by the way, I suggest the three of you get off if you can, or brace yourselves.
Connie: What about you?
Jason: I’ve gotta do whatever it takes to stop this train.
Connie: How are you gonna do that?
Jason: I’ll figure that out once I get to the engine.
Wooton: You know, I’ve always found that running along the top of a train gives me inspiration.
Jason: Good, then that’s what I’ll do. See ya.
Penny: Who was that masked man?
ENGINE ROOM:
Fred: Okay pal, now accordin’ to this, spur number #47 is thirty-six miles past the junkyard. We’ll uncouple the first freight car there, and the engine will take it away.
Barney: I hate these complicated trips. We’ve got six cars back there to deal with.
Fred: Hey, wait. Look! There’s someone running across the top of the train!
Barney: What do we do?
Fred: Nothing. He just fell off.
Barney: Okay, well, I’m going to make some more coffee.
Jason’s not-so-epic moment
Connie: Seriously, don’t I know you?
Jason: Did I hear you say there’s a way out of this car?
Wooton: Sure is, there’s a panel right behind your crate, you’ve just gotta undo those bolts.
Jason: Thanks.
Wooton: You’re welcome.
Jason: (Begins to undo the bolts, grunting as he unscrews them). Oh yeah, Connie?
Connie: Huh?
Jason: Tell Mr. Whittaker the plates can be found at TLC.
Connie: The what at the what?
Jason: (Kicks panel open). Maybe he’ll figure it out. (Climbs through the panel). Oh, and by the way, I suggest the three of you get off if you can, or brace yourselves.
Connie: What about you?
Jason: I’ve gotta do whatever it takes to stop this train.
Connie: How are you gonna do that?
Jason: I’ll figure that out once I get to the engine.
Wooton: You know, I’ve always found that running along the top of a train gives me inspiration.
Jason: Good, then that’s what I’ll do. See ya.
Penny: Who was that masked man?
ENGINE ROOM:
Fred: Okay pal, now accordin’ to this, spur number #47 is thirty-six miles past the junkyard. We’ll uncouple the first freight car there, and the engine will take it away.
Barney: I hate these complicated trips. We’ve got six cars back there to deal with.
Fred: Hey, wait. Look! There’s someone running across the top of the train!
Barney: What do we do?
Fred: Nothing. He just fell off.
Barney: Okay, well, I’m going to make some more coffee.
THE GREEN RING CONSPIRACY, PART 12:
TLC fail
TRAIN WRECKAGE:
Connie: I’ll tell you everything later, but I saw him! He was on the train!
Whit: Who was?
Connie: Jason!
Whit: My Jason?
Monty: Uncle Jason?
Connie: Oh, hi Monty! Are you okay? Anyway, he had a beard, and sunglasses, and he was in a crate, and-
Whit: In a crate?
Connie: Yeah, and he gave me a message for you: TLC.
Whit: Tender loving care?
Monty: Awww, how sweet. But what was Uncle Jason doing here?
Connie: No, he wasn’t being sweet! He said it had something to do with some plates, and that you would figure it out.
Whit: Plates… what kind of plates?
Monty: I know. The engraving plates. The ones used to make the counterfeit money.
Connie: Are they important?
Monty: Unless we find and destroy those, anybody could print that money again. The whole Green Ring could start over.
Connie: Weird that he’d show up again, just to deliver that message! And in a crate!
Whit: Where is he now?
Connie: I don’t know, he just disappeared!
Monty: We have to figure out what he meant by TLC, or this case isn’t closed.
TRICKLE LAKE:
Whit: “TL” for Trickle Lake. “C” for Dock C. Right where you started, Monty.
Detective Polehaus: They hid the plates in the boathouse?
Whit: No, not at all. What better way to protect and hide heavy engraving plates than to put them in some kind of case?
Monty: Then enclose that case in concrete.
Whit: And drop it off the dock into Trickle Lake.
Monty: You see that chain wrapped around the post at the end?
Detective Polehaus: Well, that’s pretty impressive.
Whit: Yeah, well, we’re gonna need a truck to pull it up.
Detective Polehaus: Are they really that heavy? (Tugs chain). Wait- it’s coming up. (Light splash is heard as chain pulls out of the water).
Monty: Fish?
Detective Polehaus: A chain of fish. Gentlemen, we’re on the wrong track.
(MEANWHILE, AT TENDER LOVING CARE)
Dr. Trask: Well, Skint, these engraving plates are in good shape, well done.
Skint: Thank you, sir. I don’t think anyone would have suspected these hiding in the basement of TLC Funeral Services. Should be safe and sound.
TLC fail
TRAIN WRECKAGE:
Connie: I’ll tell you everything later, but I saw him! He was on the train!
Whit: Who was?
Connie: Jason!
Whit: My Jason?
Monty: Uncle Jason?
Connie: Oh, hi Monty! Are you okay? Anyway, he had a beard, and sunglasses, and he was in a crate, and-
Whit: In a crate?
Connie: Yeah, and he gave me a message for you: TLC.
Whit: Tender loving care?
Monty: Awww, how sweet. But what was Uncle Jason doing here?
Connie: No, he wasn’t being sweet! He said it had something to do with some plates, and that you would figure it out.
Whit: Plates… what kind of plates?
Monty: I know. The engraving plates. The ones used to make the counterfeit money.
Connie: Are they important?
Monty: Unless we find and destroy those, anybody could print that money again. The whole Green Ring could start over.
Connie: Weird that he’d show up again, just to deliver that message! And in a crate!
Whit: Where is he now?
Connie: I don’t know, he just disappeared!
Monty: We have to figure out what he meant by TLC, or this case isn’t closed.
TRICKLE LAKE:
Whit: “TL” for Trickle Lake. “C” for Dock C. Right where you started, Monty.
Detective Polehaus: They hid the plates in the boathouse?
Whit: No, not at all. What better way to protect and hide heavy engraving plates than to put them in some kind of case?
Monty: Then enclose that case in concrete.
Whit: And drop it off the dock into Trickle Lake.
Monty: You see that chain wrapped around the post at the end?
Detective Polehaus: Well, that’s pretty impressive.
Whit: Yeah, well, we’re gonna need a truck to pull it up.
Detective Polehaus: Are they really that heavy? (Tugs chain). Wait- it’s coming up. (Light splash is heard as chain pulls out of the water).
Monty: Fish?
Detective Polehaus: A chain of fish. Gentlemen, we’re on the wrong track.
(MEANWHILE, AT TENDER LOVING CARE)
Dr. Trask: Well, Skint, these engraving plates are in good shape, well done.
Skint: Thank you, sir. I don’t think anyone would have suspected these hiding in the basement of TLC Funeral Services. Should be safe and sound.